Getting to November on Social Media

It’s going to be a long slog to November on social media, so be ready. Let’s start with the oft-quoted advice of Bernard Metzer. It has been summarized by the word “think”: True. Helpful. Inspiring. Necessary. Kind:

Before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid. — Bernard Meltzer

Is it true?

It all boils down to spending more time checking what is true and what is not. If something sounds unlikely or incredible – even if it would be great if it was true – check it.

Ways to spot a fake:

  1. Google the story. If it is real, you will find a link about it.
  2. Check Snopes for almost anything from stories of ancient snakes to who was at the Olympics and what they were wearing. If it is about something a politician said, check Politifact.

People who did #1 last week spent less time thinking about Jimmy Carter’s fake obituary. People who did #2 know that Donald Trump wasn’t farting at his trial.

Then sort what you found out:

  1. If it is true, go to “is it helpful.”
  2. If it isn’t true, forget about it. I mean that literally. FORGET you ever saw it.

Part of the way the negative memes work is that they plant negative images in your head. The negative meme about Donald Trump wearing diapers is one of those. Some of his supporters believe it. They are supporting his choice with T-shirts that read “Diapers over Dems” and “Real Men Wear Diapers.” I can’t make up things this ridiculous.  

Is it helpful?

If your comment supports another commenter, or it is amusing, or it adds information, get typing. If it is redundant, you can save yourself and everyone else on the thread some time by just liking words someone else has already said. If it is counter-productive, don’t add to the negativity; that’s unhelpful.

Is it inspiring?

If what you have to say might make someone happy, please say it. If it will encourage someone to do something for themselves or someone else, please say it. The more we flood one another with inspiration, the better our lives will be.

Is it necessary?

See “is it helpful” above. Most everything that is helpful is necessary. When you have information that is needed by another person, take the time to share it. Even if your advice isn’t used, it is the right thing to do.

Also, if what you have to say is optional – not necessary – consider reducing the chatter.

Is it kind?

Everyone thinks the opposition are the ones who are cruel and dehumanizing. Therefore, it works against your cause to be cruel and dehumanizing. Unkind memes sound like a middle-schooler started them; they should be off-limits to adults on social media.

Insults about a person’s body. That includes the memes about who is farting, who is fat, who dresses funny, who is dirty, smelly, ugly…

Insults about bodily habits. This includes talks or laughs funny, who is clumsy, who is stupid (generally stupid; it is in bounds to call out stupid behavior with a more adult term attached to it).

Ways to stop untrue memes and still be kind.

When someone posts something that you can prove is not true, you can stop the untrue post by writing to the person in a private message. Commenting on the post might embarrass the poster.

Ways to stop unhelpful memes and still be kind.

I generally advise people to ignore unhelpful and unnecessary memes.

Ways to stop unkind memes and still be kind.

I am not a fan of “when they go low, we go high.” Sorry, Michelle Obama, I think you left too many lies about you and your husband out in the world. In the past weeks, Kamala Harris is contradicting the lies and insults that are being aimed at her. She’s not being entirely kind; she doesn’t have the luxury of that. But we do.

Example: Refute the insults that Michelle Obama is not feminine. This rumor is a twofer – it fed homophobic reactions as well as falling into the racist stereotype that Black women are too strong and unfeminine.

First: Don’t do it on social media; that increases eyes on the lies. Do it in conversation or private message.

If you heard someone remarking about Michelle’s biceps. Say something like this:

“Does it make any sense that Michelle Obama constantly cross-dressed since before she met her husband? How could she fake two pregnancies? And why? That’s a lot of work to hide a homosexual relationship, just in case Barack wanted to be President. Isn’t the simpler explanation that she works out in a gym? Do you know any women who are buff like that? I do. I admire them.”

There are times when you will feel compelled to shut down something that is entirely offensive. At moments like that, hold your high ground for as long as you can. Take the conversation to your feed, and away from the offending poster and their friends.

It’s a long road to November. Let’s behave like adults. The goal is to energize people who will vote for the candidates who supports your view for America’s future. Insulting their candidate with middle-school level insults might feel good, but it is counterproductive.

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