Women, please comment with concrete ideas about what male allies can do to be part of the solution. What are they not getting? What are they not saying? What are they saying that makes it worse for you? What are they doing or not doing?
Please keep the conversation here, on the blog.
I take this idea directly from Danya Ruttenberg. She did it on her Twitter feed. I think it could be a richer conversation if we do it someplace where it’s easier to have a back and forth.
If you want to read other women’s comments (and also some comments from men who are survivors of rape and sexual harassment) you can follow the thread on Danya Ruttenberg’s post.
What are things that you wish male non-survivor allies would keep in mind or do when they’re speaking about #metoo? Concrete, specific tips.
If you are a male non-survivor ally, maybe this is a thread for you to read and not one to contribute to. That’s actually important work.
— Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg (@TheRaDR) October 10, 2018
Attention Men! Rape is violence. Sex is love. Could you confuse getting kicked in the balls with sex? No. What if you had to be prepared to be kicked in the balls every time you went out for an evening? What if someone might want to drug you, so they could kick you in the balls? What if people asked you why you’d let someone kick you in the balls? Someone you love and have sex with might one day, just kick you in the balls…
But, but, but, you can’t talk about sexual violence with women because, because, because…why?
What experiences of violence or shame help you be a better ally for women who have survived sexual abuse? This is your chance to ask women how to talk about this.
Here’s the kicked in the balls whole analogy, by a guy.
Hi, guys. Imagine if one day you got kicked in the nuts, really hard, on purpose.
You doubled over. Felt the pain. Nearly passed out. Nearly puked.
Then you got kicked again. And again.
— Julius Ghost👻 (Read Pinned Tweet!) (@JuliusGoat) October 6, 2018